


she's back where she's really supposed to be.

by moonlightblu_e



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: F/F, It gets better trust me, Not Proofread, Wrote this at 1 AM, angst at the start, heavily inspired by dickinson, yuyeon arent mentioned sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:53:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29902062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlightblu_e/pseuds/moonlightblu_e
Summary: shuhua was sure she wasn't going back, but she made her change her mind.
Relationships: Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua
Comments: 1
Kudos: 47





	she's back where she's really supposed to be.

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't proofread. disclaimer that shuhua smokes in this story, so if that's not something you wanna read then exit this story. also, the ending is heavily inspired by dickinson. that's all, have fun.

shuhua was walking down the streets of seonsu-dong, in seoul, south korea. it’s been a year since she came back, but for now this is just a temporary visit. who knows, maybe this would be the last time she’ll actually come back. 

a cigarette hovers between her lips, as it also rests between the fingers of her left hand. she didn't know why, she didn't know how it started, but… she just smoked. as far as she remembered, she was against the idea of smoking.  _ ‘it could ruin your lungs _ . _ ’  _ they said, and so she never thought there would be a day a cigarette would be between her lips, the day when her cheeks would puff because of the smoke of the cigarette that she sucked. 

she was an idol, a  _ singer _ . she couldn't possibly have an idea of using a cigarette, but here she was. 

shuhua sighs, as the smoke exits her plump lips, mixing with the already bad atmosphere of south korea. she wished no one could recognize her. besides, it was already 10 in the evening, and she was covered. her eyes were covered with sunglasses, a hat over her head. a scarf around her neck, and a padded jacket covering her jacket. 

she places the cigarette between her lips again. she tells herself she doesn't have responsibilities that require her lungs to work tirelessly anymore, for she was just an actress now. not that she regrets it, but maybe she misses her friends, her  _ members _ who were with her for the past 5 years. but again, acting was her forte, and she had no reason to stay in korea anymore.

it was just a temporary hiatus from her group activities, as a role was given to her that required her to go back to taiwan. as far as they talked about, filming would only take about 8 months, in intervals, meaning she could go back to korea for a while and be with her members. that didn’t happen.

she never went back. she loved taiwan, hell, it’s literally her home country. she missed the bustling atmosphere of tainan, how she could comfortably communicate with everyone around her, how she could finally use her mother tongue for shows. she also loved acting, it feels like that was her  _ true _ calling. but, was it really? was the reason for being busy, and that she had no breaks, or her shooting really the reason why she couldn't..or  _ wouldn't  _ go back to korea? was it? or was it someone? 

she walks towards the building of her company. she was thankful, but it’s time to end her time with the company that gave her the chance to grow into an entertainer. she enters cube, bowing towards the man who was on the reception, giving him a small smile as she tosses her cigarette towards one of the trash cans, pinching it’s end to end it’s flame. 

“shuhua.” she flinches, looking upwards. there, she saw the person she  _ dreaded  _ to see. “shuhua.” the person says again. the person showed indifference, but shuhua notices how they clutch their phone so tight it might break in their hand. they’re mad. 

“unnie.” shuhua eyes the older’s phone, seeing that she still hasn't removed the polaroid they took together. “hi.” she meets the korean’s eyes. “hi, soojin.” she tries to smile. “stop being fake.” the older spats. shuhua quickly removes her smile.

“were you smoking?” soojin grabs shuhua’s wrist, pulling her towards one of the unoccupied practice rooms on the floor. shuhua tried to pull back, but she couldn’t. her grip was too strong. “smoking?” shuhua asked, soojin didn’t look back, pushing the door open and locking it after she and shuhua were finally in.

“shuhua, do you smoke?” she asked again, removing her coat as she placed it on the couch, shuhua doing the same. “unnie…” shuhua trails, “just answer me, god damn it!”

“fine, i do!” soojin finally looks back, her eyes hard as she holds shuhua’s shoulder. at first, it felt like a pat, but her grip tightened as shuhua writhed under her. “give me the pack.” shuhua looked at her, “give me the fucking cigarette pack, yeh shuhua!” soojin shouts. shuhua scrambled to grab the pack in her pocket, giving it to soojin. 

soojin held it, the box on top of her palm. “fucking hell.” she opened it, seeing that it only had 3 pieces left when it was a 12-pack. seeing that it was a korean brand, and cigarettes aren’t allowed in a plane, she knew that shuhua just bought it after she landed. “9 sticks? really, shuhua? you smoked 9 sticks today?!” soojin clutches it tight. she removed her grip on shuhua’s shoulder, turning around as she threw the ruined cigarette box on the wall. it hit the mirror so loud, shuhua closed her eyes as she lowered her head in shame. 

“when did you start smoking, huh?” soojin asked her. “3 months after i went back to taiwan.” soojin lifted her eyebrow, “and you’re already this addicted? fucking hell!” shuhua flinched.

“you…” shuhua started, “you never cared about me, why now?” soojin looks back at her. “why did you start caring about me? i’m allowed to smoke, soojin! i’m fucking 22 years old, i can take care of myself, for the love of god.” 

“me? shuhua, are you stupid?” shuhua looked at her offended. “i took care of you so damn much ever since we were trainees! i gave you food, i waited for you at the wee hours of the day, i accompanied you. i literally did anything just so that you wouldn't be alone! i fucking took care of you, you know that.” 

“it felt like you did that out of pity!” shuhua shouts. “i was seen as that sad quiet girl, for fucks sake! you…” shuhua raised her head. “it felt like you just took care of me because i was seen as a child! you took care of me out of pity, you know that!” tears threatened to spill out of her eyes, as she quickly wiped them away.

“why are you back?” soojin sniffles, looking away from the younger. “you didn’t inform any of us.” 

“i need to go.” shuhua didn’t have the heart to tell her why. she grabbed her coat from the couch, walking towards the door. “please, tell me, shuhua.” 

shuhua sighed, “i’m terminating my contract.” she finally said. her hand hovered over the door knob, before soojin talked again. “why? why are you leaving us, why are you leaving…  _ me?”  _ soojin stayed in her spot, letting her tears fall from her eyes. shuhua’s hand dropped. “you don’t want me anyways, it’s fine.”

“you’re wrong.” soojin answered, sniffling. “you’re totally wrong about that.” soojin sighed. “please, don’t leave. please come back, shuhua. we miss you,  _ i _ miss you. i took care of you not out of pity, trust me. please don’t leave me.” 

shuhua could totally use a cigarette right now. “i got so mad when i saw you using a cigarette because i thought you know it would ruin your lungs, and that you couldn't perform properly again.” soojin explained, “i miss the six of us together, shuhua.” 

“just say it, unnie.” soojin doesn't answer. shuhua got frustrated, “just say it, seo soojin. just say it!” soojin takes a deep breath. “i am in love with you.”

“you’re lying.” shuhua turned around, her previous plans thrown out of the window. “i’m not lying.” soojin countered. “stop lying to me!” shuhua stopped in front of soojin, angry tears welling down her eyes. 

“i was so sure that i would leave this industry, this fucking country! i was so sure of stopping being an idol, i made up my mind to leave you! it hurts, fuck! why did you do this to me?” shuhua sniffled.

“i am totally in love with you, shuhua.” shuhua wrapped her hand around soojin’s neck, walking forward making the older walk backward. soojin takes a deep breath, feeling the sides of her neck getting pressed. “stop lying to me!”

“shuhua, i am not. please don’t leave me.” shuhua groaned. before soojin even knew it, soft lips were pressed against hers. shuhua dropped her hand, instead they landed on soojin’s hips, pressing her against the mirrored wall even further. soojin groans, answering with much fervor. 

soojin turned them around, now with shuhua being pressed against the wall. shuhua sighed, holding soojin tightly. 

“soojin, are you-” minnie opened the door, with miyeon trailing behind her. she closed it again, before turning onto miyeon with a displeased look on her face, “yep, she’s here.” she pressed her lips together. 

“huh, why didn't you go in then?”

“she’s busy.” 

_ “minnie? i’m okay!”  _ they both hear a shout from the inside. miyeon looked at minnie before opening the door, “hey, soo!” the sight behold her wasn’t something she expected. the edge of her lips dropped, “shuhua.” 

“hi, miyeonnie.” 

they were both standing against the wall, panting. both of their hair were a mess, miyeon noticed that soojin’s coat was crumpled and that lipstick was smeared over shuhua’s lips, very much similar to the color soojin was wearing. shuhua doesn't wear red lipstick, that alone should’ve given it away.

“oh, you’re back!” miyeon trudged towards shuhua, giving her a tight hug, “you look bad, and you smell like cigarettes.” she pulled back, an eyebrow raised. she scanned the room, noticing the box that was careless thrown onto the ground. “and you smoke.” 

“shuhua, i missed you!” minnie ran towards shuhua, engulfing her in a big tight hug, “oh, did you cry? and… kissed soojin?” shuhua blushed, nodding to both questions.

“it’s been a year, why did you only come back now?”

“i… this was supposed to be my last visit, i was sure to terminate my contract with cube.” she explained. minnie and miyeon crossed their arms, “look, i didn’t want to be an idol anymore-”

“and you were sure to leave us!”

“i’m not gonna do that anymore!” soojin looked at her, “okay, i’m going back okay? i now have a reason to stay.” she glances towards soojin. “i just can’t… leave now…  _ when i already have the person i truly love.”  _


End file.
